8 Biggest Lies Told in Online Dating Profiles
Be on the lookout for these signs
Women often get discouraged when dating online because sometimes the men they talk to are telling lies.
Luckily there are ways to tell if the things you’re being told are true, or if they are little white lies – or whopping stories. And for you to decide if it matters or not. A good rule of thumb is that if they're willing to lie about one thing, they could be lying about everything.
As Stef Safran, founder of Stef and the City dating service in Chicago says, “the age old expression is usually true; if it seems too good it usually is.”
Biggest lies told in profiles
- Height - Only 15% or less of the male population is 6 feet or taller. Many men lie about their height by about 2 inches, so don't get too upset if you notice this when meeting someone.
- Age - People often shave off a few years. Since younger seems to be better, some people claim to be younger because think they are younger and more active than most people their own age.
- Income - It doesn't matter if people put that they make a certain income, you don't know if they have debt or if they truly make that income. Be aware that someone who is letting you know that they have a high income may not be telling the truth; or may want to attract a certain type.
- Location - If they don't live in the city they are claiming, they could be looking for an affair, or they feel like their location isn't as desirable to meet singles. Either way, if someone isn't honest about where they live, be careful with their intentions.
- Interests - We all want to seem more interesting and dimensional than we actually are, so we enhance our list of interests to reflect this desire. If someone says they enjoy “culture” or “the outdoors”, ask questions to that allow them to describe details of these interests (e.g. asking about a favorite gallery/club/band or hike). If they answer generally and avoid specifics, this may be a sign that they’re not as interested in these areas as they claim.
- Inability to Meet – They always have a good reason they can’t meet in person, and keep putting off the initial in-person contact. This is typical if the don’t follow through with a call or other contact after saying they will.
- Weight – Beware of photos that are only headshots, and full-body shots that look dated, or where he’s wearing a loose, untucked shirt. If he’s said he’s in good shape, with no weight to lose, these are indicators that he’s not in as good of shape as he claims to be. It’s common for men to say they’re physically fit and live active lives, when in reality they hang out playing video games or watching TV.
- Relationship status – This is the big one. Some men who are dating online and claim to be single are actually only separated. Others have filed for divorce but it’s not final yet, and still others are flat-out still living with their wife or girlfriend, or they’re in a similarly committed relationship. If any of the other red flags appear while talking to someone online, whether an inability to meet, protective of his social media accounts, or being vague about where he lives, or only being able to meet or text or talk on the phone at certain times, then that’s a sign he might already be in a relationship.
If any of these red flags occur, it doesn’t mean that the guy is lying, but it indicates you need to go slow, and make sure he’s what he says he is before you jump into bed with him or consider him a serious contender for the role of boyfriend.
Safran cautions, “Women should look out for men that seem too good to be true, because there's usually a reason for that. However, until you meet someone, don't only go for the guy with the best pictures or profile, sometimes someone who has a so-so profile or pictures, can be much better in person than the guy that seems like a catch.”
Sources: Stef Safran, Stef and the City dating service, Chicago; Dr. Jess, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, author, and a sexuality counselor with a Ph.D. in sex education; Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC, psychotherapist and relationship coach