Hidden Signs Your Relationship Might Be Over
What to look for when you’re unsure
The toughest part of any relationship is the end. One of the things that makes it so difficult is the uncertainty that comes with it. When there is a problem in the relationship, whether it’s one person or both people that recognize it, figuring out if you should break up is extremely difficult.
If you’re wondering if your partner has decided to call it quits, here are the signs to look for. Because even if you don’t want it to happen, you still need to know where you stand in the relationship.
Signs it’s near the end
“Relationships can have a lot of unwritten language that a lot of people call women's intuition, said Stef Safran, Chicago’s Introductionista and owner of Stef and the City dating service.
Safran said there are certain signs can mean your relationship isn't going in the right direction:
- He stops calling as frequently and including you in decisions about your future.
- He isn't as interested in sex or any form of intimacy with no explanation why, but you know it’s not about extra work or family stress.
- He isn't interested in hanging out with important people in your life such as your friends and your family.
- He isn't interested in comforting you when you are hurt or upset.
- He isn't communicating that there is anything wrong, but suddenly you don't feel like you are a priority.
Pay attention to the details
What someone does communicates so much more than what they say. Therefore the signs a relationship is over will be evident when he starts acting differently, according to Toni Coleman, a psychotherapist and relationship coach.
Here are some of the top signs that Coleman warns against:
- He is suddenly less available to get together. Other commitments, work issues, family concerns are now making it hard for to find time with her
- Intimate gestures stop: hand holding, putting his arm around you, sitting close, touching you arm or leg. These will be replaced with more formalness and physical distance.
- He doesn’t include you in activities with friends/family like he once did. Suddenly he is more secretive about his schedule and how he is spending his time
- He is spending more time online, texting and checking message when they are together. You can see a growing void in how often you talk and how much attention he pays to you when you are together.
- He texts and calls less than he used to.
- He rarely/never talks about future plans, vacations, and/or goals around you anymore.
The internal and external signs that a relationship is coming to an end are similar no matter who is doing the breaking up, according to Erika Martinez, a Miami, Fla. psychologist.
“My clients say they feel more like roommates, than a couple. Many times each person does their own thing, scheduling plans and activities on evenings and weekends without checking in with their partner. Moreover, the plans don't really include their partner. There's also a lack of desire to connect physically and emotionally with a partner. Kissing, hugging and flirtatious play diminish, and eventually so does sex. Conversations about each other's hopes and dreams for a combined future become existent, and you'll notice fewer plans made farther out in the future,” Martinez said.
Remember, a good relationship feels safe, supportive, respectful and loving. If you start to feel that these are missing from your relationship, don’t ignore the warning signs. Don’t let yourself be blinded by chemistry. If you think things are going awry in your relationship, sit down and talk to him and find out what’s going on. Your self-respect will thank you for it.