10 Rules of Dating

Dec 26, 2013
LadyLUX • Lifestyle

Watching women stumble around the dating scene can be cringeworthy. The mistakes some women make are so obvious to their friends looking in from the outside, but not to the poor soul trying to find love.

Of course, if a woman isn’t looking for lasting love, but a short-lived fling, then the rules don’t matter. But if finding a soul mate is the desired goal, then it’s important to remember the key guidelines of dating. These aren’t “The Rules” that were the buzz in the late 90’s, but instead, modern day guidelines in the world of online dating that will serve anyone well.

So, without any more fanfare, here are ten basic rules of dating that, if followed, will hopefully lead to love. Or, at the very least, help avoid the jerks of the dating world.

Rule No. 1

Don’t Be the First to Contact Him After a First Date: There are many women who insist that they should text or call or email a guy after a first date to thank him for the date. Don’t do it. It’s merely a thinly veiled excuse to try to wangle a second date, and the guy knows this and will think that you’re chasing him. But you don’t want to be rude, of course. So thank him at the end of the date and leave it at that. If the guy is interested in you, he will contact you again. Period. If a man thinks a woman is sexy and wants to see her again, he will make sure that she knows it. So don’t worry that he’s not calling because you weren’t friendly enough, or that he’s not sure if you like him. If he likes you, he will take the risk of calling no matter what.

Rule No. 2

Don’t Sleep With Him On the First Date: Whatever you do, please do not have sex with him on the first date. If you do, he will think that you’ve slept with every man you ever met. Even if he says he won’t think that of you, trust us, he will. Yes, there are stories of people who met and fell into bed together on the first date and lived happily ever after. But those couples are the exception to the rule. Show that you have a bit of self-control. Because you really should for numerous reasons, including physical and emotional health. (Now thanks for making us feel like your mother for having to say that.)

Rule No. 3

Don’t Have More than Two Drinks on the First Date: This rule is here in order to help you follow all of the other rules. Particularly Rule No. 2. Don’t have more than two drinks (or one, if you’re a total lightweight), on the first date. If you drink too much, then your inhibitions are lowered and you’re more likely to do things you shouldn’t. Such as sleeping with him, talking too much, or contacting him at 1 a.m. to say thank you for the date.

Rule No. 4

Be Yourself: Yes. This goes against what so many other dating articles advise. But honestly, on a date, if you want to talk about something, do it. If it freaks the guy out, he’s not the right one for you. If a relationship is going to last, you have to be open and be able to talk about things. It’s better to run off the iffy ones early on.

Rule No. 5

Don’t Chase Him: You do not have to chase a man who is interested in you. If a man likes you, he will ask you out again. If your phone isn’t ringing, or he’s not sending texts, then it’s because he doesn’t want to see you again. If you chase him, he might respond, but only because he’s decided you’re so desperate you’ll probably have sex with him on the next date.

Rule No. 6

You’re Not Exclusive Until You’ve Had The Exclusivity Talk: Do not assume you two are exclusively dating each other unless he’s said he’s only dating you. There are far too many women who fall into bed with a guy on the third date, and then assume that it means they are monogamous and no longer dating others, only to discover a few weeks later that he never removed his online profile and he’s still pursuing other women. Men know that many women are afraid to ask for exclusivity before sex, and this works to their advantage because it means they get easy sex without any strings attached. By the time the woman works up their nerve to ask, it’s four weeks into the relationship and they’re already growing extremely fond of the guy, only to discover he’s still dating others.

Rule No. 7

Trust Your Gut: If you feel, deep down, that the guy is a creep, then trust your gut and don’t go out with him again. It’s all too common for women to look for the good side in a man, and ignore the red flags flapping in the wind. Don’t do it. Dating is how you get to know someone to determine who is your best match. If you start to date someone and see red flags, stop dating them. That is why you are dating. To get to know if they are the best person for you. In the early stages, if you see issues, it’s time to stop dating them. It only gets harder the longer you’re with them and early red flags never go away.

Rule No. 8

When He Tells You Who He Is, Believe Him: Most men will tell a woman who they really are on a first or second date. He will tell you about how it’s hard for him to settle down with one woman, or that he’s still upset over the loss of his last girlfriend, or that he isn’t sure he ever wants to get married, or have kids. But women often hear these things and think that they will be the one to change his mind. Don’t go down that path. If he tells you who he is, believe him. Men often tell women these things early on so that, if things get sticky later, he can always tell her, “Well, I warned you about that when we met.” It’s how cads convince themselves that they’re not a cad.

Rule No. 9

Don’t Accept Last Minute Dates: If a guy asks you out a few hours beforehand, don’t accept. This isn’t playing a game, it’s just not being his second choice. Because men only contact women at 4 p.m. on Friday to ask her out for later that night if their first choice fell through. Men know that women want to be asked out in advance in order to properly primp and plan. If they aren’t doing it, they’re either seeing other women that they like better, or they’re flat-out inconsiderate.

Rule No. 10

Relax: The most important rule of all? Just relax. Be yourself, but the best version you can be. Don’t worry before a first date. At the least, you will meet someone to talk to for an hour. At the best, you’ve just met your future husband. Either way, it’s entertaining to spend an hour or two with someone new and learn about them and discover more about who they are. Everyone has a story. Find out your date’s story and enjoy who he is, even if he’s not your soul mate. It will help you hone your social skills for everything else in life.