Kissing’s Big Role in Making Love Last
Kissing, smooching, puckering up – there are almost as many names for kissing as there are ways to do it. And what it means is that kissing is important. It’s what little girls dream of and, when done right, it can be magical.
But not all kisses are perfect kisses. Sometimes they’re a bit sloppy, or too aggressive, or they simply don’t feel right. This doesn’t mean that all is lost. A bad kisser can be taught how to properly kiss a girl. When you have been dating someone for a while, though, and you still don’t like their kisses, then something needs to be fixed or else the relationship is doomed.
“Everyone knows that the right kiss can definitely set the mood. But a bad kiss doesn’t necessarily have to ruin the mood. If you are just starting up with someone new and his kissing techniques are subpar, this doesn’t mean that there is no spark. It may just mean that he needs some more practice and direction,” said Lori Bizzoco, relationship expert and founder of CupidsPulse.com.
Here are Bizzoco’s tip to improve kissing:
- Slow down. Take a few steps back and start with some very simple, innocent kisses. Give your partner small pecks on the lips, nose, chin, neck, and so on. Kisses like this are very romantic and can definitely build anticipation for a full-blown kiss at the end, which may be more enjoyable.
- Give him some tips. If you are not enjoying yourself while you are kissing then let your lover interest know. Of course, there's a sensitive and sweet way to do it. After all, you don't want to crush your partner's ego. Simply guide him through the process in a cute and endearing way and then if he does something you like, make sure you tell him. This will ensure that he will do it again.
- Don’t jump the gun. Don’t automatically assume that he is a bad kisser because he doesn’t do exactly what you like. Maybe he is just not used to the way you kiss or he is nervous.
She said, “Kissing is extremely important to keeping a healthy relationship, so it is definitely not something to skip out on. A Redbook poll done in April 2011 reported that 79 percent of women said they don’t kiss their husbands as often as they would like. This can lead to an unhappy marriage. Kissing relieves stress and makes the connection stronger, so it is extremely important that you take the time out of your day to kiss your partner at least once a day. And more than just a peck. A real kiss that means something. A kiss can explain how you feel without words, so don’t forget to show how much you care.”
Kissing does indicate sexual chemistry, but Vanessa Marin, relationship expert and founder of VMTherapy.com, said that even good relationships might not start out with instant passion. “Most of us believe that great sex just magically happens. This is, hands down, the most damaging sexual myth that I encounter in my practice. While of course it's great to find someone that you connect with right away, sustaining a passionate relationship takes effort and creativity. This process can be quite enjoyable and can bring you together in a deeper and more truly intimate way.”
You definitely can fall in love with a bad kisser – or before you even kiss, said Nick Conley, psychologist and founder of lovehideaway.com.
“The first kiss, however, will tell you immediately if they are a good kisser or a bad one. There are many different kissing styles and typically we associate someone that is a good kisser if they have a similar style. A bad kisser might make the idea less romantic though and so many relationships will fail simply because the couple no longer has a gesture to show their intimacy,” Conley said.
Don’t overlook the magic behind a good kiss. “The right kiss can be very powerful and has the ability to make people fall in love or lust and chase that moment over and over again. We shake hands to greet our friends, but kiss to greet our lovers. This is because kissing is a very intimate action and has been associated with the unspoken words of the heart,” Conley said.
Conley shared his own story, and said, “My first kiss with my wife was a simple peck on the lips. This surely isn't the big romantic smooch in the movies, but to realize your soul mate sometimes all you need is a taste.”
Famous last words from actress Ingrid Bergman, who has been oft-quoted as having said, “A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”