Ask Drew: 4 Signs You’re Dating a Player

May 19, 2013
Drew • Lifestyle

Although almost every woman will publicly disagree with this, I still have a theory that women secretly want to date a player. No, they don’t want him to continue to remain a player, but they like the idea of domesticating him and being the reason that “that’s all in the past.” It’s a challenge the same way it’s a challenge for younger men to sleep with as many women as possible.

No girl wants to be with a guy who isn’t sought after by other women. I used to joke in college about creating a fake Facebook profile of a hot girl. My idea was to steal some ASU sorority girl’s pictures, create a phantom account, and then get into a relationship with her. Simple economics: if my supply goes down, my demand would go up. Meaning if this gorgeous girl I’m dating can stand me, there has to be something about me worthwhile. Then my roommate explained that, even for me, that would be a new low.

Of course you want that guy that every other girl wants, but you want to make sure he isn’t using his crotch as a divining rod when you’re not around. Here are a few things to keep an eye out for.

Signs You're Dating a Player

Other Girls’ Stuff
Next time you’re over at his place, put on your detective hat and keep an eye out for other girls’ accessories/clothes. At any given time there’s bound to be a few hair ties, earrings, or possibly even an empty clutch nestled neatly under the bed. Hell, some guys [clears throat] keep a lost and found drawer. What was once a collection of bracelets and toe rings has grown into an entire Macy’s store. A surefire way to tell is to ask for some of your stuff back. Don’t describe it, just request your earrings/bracelet/purse back. Hopefully he’ll be able to remember what was yours, but there’s a good chance you’ll get some other girl’s bracelet on accident and get really pissed off and start insulting the other girl’s taste in fashion as well as questioning her moral fortitude. True story.

Signs You're Dating a Player

Social Media
I know how much women like to check-in places, take dozens of pictures of who they’re with, and tag it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, etc. As obnoxious as it is, I’ve just learned to accept it, but a guy who’s trying to keep his whereabouts unknown might not be okay with that. Either he’s like me (who truly thinks taking pictures of your food and tagging your friends as a plate of Gnocchi is stupid), or he’s hiding something. If he’s seen out drinking Sake with you at 1am, it’s probably not going to sit well with Staci, Katie, Ashley, and Amy. Social media has made that show Cheaters obsolete.

Your Name In His Phone
Next time you’re with him, tell him something is wrong with your phone and ask if you can test it by calling him. If your real name comes up, that’s a good sign. If you come up as “Lindsay Last Call,” I’d be willing to bet you’re nestled nicely in his phone book between “Lindsay Cleavage” and “Lindsay Talks In Her Sleep.” Hey, we’re not Rain Man. Sometimes you need a hint.

Signs You're Dating a Player

Specific Days/Locations
Maybe you’re unfortunate enough to be “Lindsay Tuesday” in his phone. “But that doesn’t make any sense! We met on a Friday!” Yeah, but clearly he’s added a handful of free agents to his roster recently and you’ve been demoted to Tuesdays. And only Tuesdays because the rest of his schedule is booked up with work, watching TV in his underwear, or – gasp – other girls. Unless he specifies plans for the following day, maybe hang around longer than you’re expected and see how he handles it. Last summer, I had a girl who decided she was going to stay around, shower at my place, and come out with us the following night. Unfortunately I was supposed to watch a movie with a different girl in a couple hours. Thinking quickly, I had a “family emergency” and had to fly home. Almost as if she was calling my bluff, I ended up having to pack some clothes into a bag. When I began to call a cab, she insisted on driving me to the airport. The other girl thought it was peculiar when I showed up to her place in a cab with a suitcase over my shoulder.